i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
this boner is exhausting
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
