Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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