Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
