I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
