And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
