Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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