Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.

Fav 13 1735 4166
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(+61): View more from Australia

I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.

Fav 17 2152 5833
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.

Fav 1 742 393
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(646): View more from New York

I am really drunk and also a zombie.

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