i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
