i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
