My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
