So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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