question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
