who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
this will be a night to untag.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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