i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize