Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
