LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
