Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize