I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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