i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize