You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
