i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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