South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Come on in and take your pants off
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