you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
