and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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