Yo dont text me then not text me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize