we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
