if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
