i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
