Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
