i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
