Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
