tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
BRING THE BAGELS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize