I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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