Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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