There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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