Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
