Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
do herpes really smell.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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