you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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