i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
