There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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