I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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