And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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