I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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