New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
