So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
