i think my mom watched the whole time
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
