im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
