We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
