At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
