...so i touched it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
