That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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