idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
