this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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