I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
