Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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