just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
