end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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