That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
