At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
