It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
