He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
