i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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