I think i sorta joined a cult last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
