So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
