It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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