this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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